Pranks
by Averon
Summary: When jokes go alittle too far... "Apparently, Snape wasn't a morning person. 'That was too much. I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him and spit on his grave! Next time I see Malfoy--'" HPDM Slash. This is HUMOR, people.


Hey! It's another story! This one's a one-shot, no hope of continuance. If anyone's read 'A Gift', I should tell you chapter two's about a third written and completely planned and I know what's going to happen until chapter seven, and I still don't know what the point is.

Warnings -(light) Slash, and(very) mild cussing

Disclaimer - I own nothing but the idea.

Summary - The rivalry between Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter has escalated to a whole new level... Practical jokes, now Harry wakes up to a very strange and dangerous predicament, courtesy of Draco Malfoy.

DMDMDMDMDM

It was chilly for some reason. _Very chilly_. In fact, it was bloody freezing when Harry Potter woke up that morning. To make matters worse, he didn't think he was in his bed in the Gryffindor tower at all… His bed didn't feel like stone… And he couldn't hear Neville snoring… Tentatively, he opened an eye and prepared for the worst and discovered—

Someone had taped thelenses from his glasses to his face. _Lovely._ He'd have to ask Hermione to fix them after he found the frames. Not to mention Hermione. Orhimself…

He turned his attention to the room he was in, without much luck. They'd put tape _on_ the glass. They'd left a very thin line he could see through. He did, however, find out he was somewhere in the dungeons. No windows, one door with a heavy beam across it, and a bed with someone he couldn't see sleeping in it.

Slowly, the dark haired boy rose from his position on the cold stone floor, wincing as his vertebra popped loudly in the silent room. He padded quietly towards the door, heart pounding hard in his chest. _Just what everyone needs on a Saturday morning, an adrenaline rush trying to sneak out from behind enemy lines. I should look at it as training… Yeah, right._

He reached the door quickly, and began the measured, time consuming task of lifting the bar _quietly_. _Bloody paranoid git._ _If I didn't know better, I'd think it was—_

The bar fell with a sickening crash.

"What the- POTTER! WHAT THE _HELL_ ARE YOU DOING IN MY CHAMBERS!" A terribly familiar voice screamed from the bed. Harry ran for dear life. "100 POINTS FROM GRYFINDOR AND DETENTION FOR TWO WEEKS! IF I _EVER_ SEE YOU _ANYWHERE_ NEAR MY ROOMS AGAIN, I'LL FLAY YOU ALIVE!"

Apparently, Snape wasn't a morning person. _That was too much. I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna _kill_ him and _piss_ on his grave! Next time I see—_

"Having a nice morning jog in the dungeons, eh Potter?" A smirking Draco Malfoy stood at the corner of the corridor, his eyes sparkling with suppressed mirth. _Sadistic git_.

"That was over the top, Malfoy. You're not supposed to do anything that can get me _killed!_" The irritated Boy-Who-Lived hissed.

"Oh really, and putting my bed in the lake wasn't dangerous? Sev's harmless. A big teddy bear." The blond snickered, shooting a grin towards the Gryffindor.

"Yeah, a big greasy teddy bear with fangs and poisons. Just what every kid wants. He wanted to _murder_ me!"

"And the squid didn't want to eat me!"

"I think the squid's straight, Malfoy."

"Right, and so are you…" Draco just rolled his eyes.

(_flashback)_

It had been last Saturday morning, and it looked like it was going to be a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Draco's bed was rocking gently with the waves. _Wait… That's not right._

The blond opened his eyes and screamed bloody murder, clutching his covers convulsively and pressing himself to the headboard, his eyes staring in horror across the water. A joyous laugh broke out on shore.

"BEAT THAT, MALFOY!" The dark haired teen crowed, punching the air and turning to run back towards the castle.

"Oh, I will…" The blond smirked. "I _definitely_ will…" He took a moment to laugh at his newest plan before addressing the current issue, getting back on dry ground without his wand to help.

_(flashforward)_

"Anyway, the squid's harmless." Harry continued, snickering at the memory.

"I could have drowned."

"The squid would have saved you."

"Yeah, just what I need first thing in the morning. A tentacle hauling me out of the lake and putting me on my brand new water bed. If that wouldn't give me a heart attack, nothing would." The Slytherin growled, laughing inwardly as Harry doubled over in delight.

"Merlin, if that had happened I'd've taken a picture and sent it to _the Prophet_. I can see it now…" Harry held his hands up like he was framing a picture. "… 'Draco Malfoy Rescued by Resident Squid. Inside scoop, page 17'! Or better yet, 'Squib Saved by Squid'!"

Draco's expression turned icy. "Those glasses are a nice look for you, Potter."

The brunette stopped laughing and pulled the taped glass off his face. "That was cruel. Do you have the frames?" He inquired exasperatedly, holding out his hand for the requested object.

"Naturally." The blond smirked, pulling them from a pocket and holding them just outside the shorter boys reach. "I don't know _why_ you wear the horrid things, anyway." He sighed, dropping them carelessly.

Harry caught them with amazing reflexes and peeled the glass off the lenses before stuffing them in the pockets of his pajamas. "And what exactly are you implying?"

"That you look much better without them." The blond said seriously, tilting his head to the side and staring at Harry's face critically. "Your eyes are too bright to be hidden by those revolting things all the time."

The shorter boy blushed. "Umm… How 'bout a truce?" He stated quickly, looking away from the blond nervously.

"Like what?" Draco took a step back and crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow in inquiry.

"No more moving people into unpleasant places while they're asleep."

"That might work… But I'll do you one better." The blond smirked, backing the Gryffindor against the wall.

"Wh-what?" Harry stuttered watching the Slytherin's face inch closer to his own.

"How 'bout next time, I just move you to my room."

Andtheir lips met.

HPHPHPHPHPHP

So how was that? I think the descriptions are off, but hey...

Reveiw please! I want to know how much you like (dislike) it, and I need encouragement to work on my other fic(s)!

(I seemed to have discovered paraenthesis...)

Later

Averon


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